Pondering

“Because I have been given much, I too must give…” I love that song! What a spiritually filling day today was. We heard so many wonderful testimonies, including and incredible group of Aaronic Priesthood holders who filled the back seats of the stand so that they could bear their testimonies. I couldn’t help but contrast these young men who shine with the light of the gospel in their lives with the boys that I teach. I have several young men who are great people but who lack the knowledge of the gospel. I wish that I could just stuff it into their heads, but I know that school isn’t the place for preaching. I just have to settle for setting the best example that I can.

Today’s Relief Society lesson was one that really struck a chord with me. It was based on President Uchtdorf’s talk at the General Relief Society meeting last fall. It’s titled “Happiness, Your Heritage” A couple of thoughts that I had as I listened to the lesson and again as I listened to President Uchtdorf’s talk as we drove home from church were how amazing it is when the right people are placed in the callings that they’re in, and that President Uchtdorf was definitely inspired as he prepared and delivered a talk that spoke to so many women who struggle with their own self-worth each day – me included.

President Uchtdorf spok of God’s happiness and how each of us can know it despite the trials that we’re asked to bear in our lives. He spoke of creating and being compassionate as two objectives which we should have in contributing to Heavenly Father’s perfect happiness. I know that the issue of creativity is something that a lot of people struggle with, especially those who think solely along the lines of a tangible object of art or music. So many people don’t realize that creating warmth in the home, friendships, joyful hearts, and strong family relationships are as important to God’s perfect happiness as those who are gifted with talents to produce tangible products. I love that President Uchtdorf emphasizes that each of us is given talents to create something – it’s just a matter of working to create where we are that is important for us to strive for. I thought about a comment that Meghan made once about not having any talents to put on display for a Young Women’s Evening of Excellence. Meg isn’t a crafty person, so her talents weren’t something tangible that she felt that she could display. Instead, she took a certificate that she was given in recognition of her work at the summit County Animal Shelter. She also took pictures of her with her nieces, showing how much she strives to create a relationship with them. I love President’s encouragement to start small in our creativity if we’re struggling to find ways to create and edify. “Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.”

I also think about my own talents. I know that I’ve been given a talent to write. I also know that I’ve not utilized to the best of my abilities. I love to write, but I often make excuses for why I don’t get any writing done. I look at my binder of writing, and I find myself saddened to know that there isn’t a lot of writing for the past 10 years. But then again, I also look at the writing I did do in the early 90s. A lot of it was frustrations which were coming out as a result of the problems in my previous marriage. My happiness in my marriage to Mike have promoted a lot of thoughts and opportunities to write. Mike encourages me to write constantly, but I make excuses. I’ve grown out of the habit of journaling regularly. I’ve lost the ability to think in terms of things that I can jot down. I woke one morning with the dream of a story in my head. I also had the distinct impression that if I didn’t write this particular story, I would lose my gift. I set a goal to write 5 pages a week on the story. I’m still waiting for myself to get in gear to get some writing done. I make excuses such as time or lack of knowledge about the Book of Mormon (the setting for the story), when what I should be doing instead is to just get things written and the worry about filling in details afterward. I’ve made a lot of excuses over the years about writing once the kids are out of the house or not being able to write because the tv is always on and I need quiet in order to concentrate. Excuses. I just need to do it.