Love

I was contemplating my day a little while ago. I guess the winter finally caught up with me. I'm not totally surprised that it happened, just that it took longer than usual and then when it did, it hit me hard. I found myself, however, realizing that I brighten up when I get to come home from work and when Mike is around. He is truly my best friend. I'm grateful that he's my husband. Grant started having us look at the miracles in our lives each day. One day recently when I'd had a really bad day at school, I came home to Mike's grin. It is really difficult to be sad when Mike gets going. Some of his corny jokes and his contagious grin are just not easy to ignore let alone maintain a frowny disposition. Anyone who has been around him knows what I'm talking about. I love Mike’s smile! It seems that no matter what has gone on during my day, when I look up and see Mike smile at me with all the love that he has for me in his eyes, my world is all right. I know that Mike’s smile for me is special – mine. I love his mustache and the way that it frames Mike’s mouth. Between the length of the mustache and the wideness of Mike’s grin, he always looks so jolly. I’m grateful that he loves me and shows me how much he loves me with his smile.

Tonight as I was putting dinner away, my eyes glanced over a quote by President Hinckley that I have on the fridge. It states, "I have since come to know that love is more than a paper heart. Love is of the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yet it is more than the end of the rainbow. Love is at the beginning also, and from it springs the beauty that arches across the sky on a stormy day. Love is the security for which children weep, the yearning of youth, the adhesive that binds marriage, and the lubricant that prevents devastating friction in the home; it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shining through death. How rich we are those who enjoy it in their associations with family, friends, church, and neighbors."

We are indeed blessed to know love. Our greatest example of love comes from our Heavenly Father and our elder Brother, Jesus Christ. That love is what life is about and I'm grateful that I am able to experience the joy of love as a wife, a mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and teacher.

Sunrise or Moonset?

As I arrived in my classroom yesterday morning, I glanced out my window to see this incredible full moon. Mike and I have been watching the moon slowly gain its fullness over the past several days. We've been awed to see how bright and huge it is, especially in the mornings just before it sets. It's difficult to see the glow that the moon casts on the water behind the tree, and I know that the picture truly doesn't do the scene justice. I was just trying to capture it as quickly as I could from my open classroom window. Again, I'm constantly amazed at the things I've seen since I've been here in Alaska. I'm thankful that I can experience this place. I look out across the inlet every day and can honestly say that I have never seen the same view. There's always something different to catch my attention whether it's ice fog, otters, the incoming or outgoing tide, huge ice chunks in the subzero temperatures, bald eagles cruising across my line of sight, barges hauling oil, an enormous winter moon, or the grumbling Mt. Redoubt. It's all good!

Not Much To Say

I set myself a goal to try to update my blog each week. Well, not much is running through my head right now. I probably should do this when the thoughts strike me.

One thing that just hit me. This morning I was watching a BYU-I Devotional entitled "Angels in Waiting." The speaker quoted a line from President Monson, "You never know whose angel you're supposed to be." I've heard President Monson speak along those lines before. The idea that we're here to be of service to others is something I think that more of us need to act upon. I know that I need to do better about being of service or more importantly, acting upon the promptings that I receive to do something for someone else -- even if it's as simple as just saying hello and meeting another person's eyes. I've found that even the grumpiest person can be soothed with a smile, a hello, and a meeting of the eyes. There's just something about looking a person in the eyes -- it's the peering into another's soul, I guess, that can bring out the best in each of us. At least that's the attitude I want to take.

What can each of us do to lift others around us? Can we ask how someone is and genuinely mean it enough to stop and listen? Can we drive out of our way on a coveted day off to find a coat and socks for a child who goes to school without any? Can we mow the neighboring church's lawn (not our denomintation) when we don't think anyone else is paying attention? Can we handwrite a note to someone when we suddenly think of that person out of the blue, just to let him or her know that we're thinking of them? The things that we do for others don't have to be spectacular. I think the greatest challenge is to just do for others. There are so many examples of service to others. Why can't we all emulate our Savior who was the greatest among us yet served the least of us by His loving sacrifice? Humans have such great heart, but too many are becoming jaded by the world to allow Christ's spirit of service to enter into their hearts and lives. Just yesterday, I mentioned to my beautiful daughter that it's not just about serving others, but allowing others to serve us as well. This is a difficult concept to handle as well, especially when one is accustomed to trying to do everyone for oneself.

These are just some rambling thoughts, I guess. Maybe there is more in my brain than I thought. What I do know is that we need to be a more loving people and share more of ourselves with those around us. When we share a part of ourselves with another human being, we actually gain more back than what we gave.

My challenge to everyone is to be someone's angel. Look and listen for opportunities to lift another person each day. Pray for those opportunities, and remember that they don't have to be monumental tasks. Even a smile can brighten someone's day.

Response to Grant

Something that I've learned over the years as I've been trying to "grow up" is that the concept of being an adult was created by unhappy individuals. We find ourselves so consumed with doing the grown-up thing, that we forget to take the time to enjoy the simple things -- stomping in mud puddles, dancing in the rain, floating down a river in 100+ degree weather. We're so worried about meeting deadlines and working so that we can take a vacation. Instead, we should be taking advantage of the moments that are presented to us throughout a day to laugh and to appreciate all that God has given us. I understand that some things are necessary -- providing for our family's needs is the most important -- but there is joy in that journey as well.

I've also learned that it's important to not compromise who I am in order to be who I think I should be. Music, books, movies, and such that I've enjoyed in my life are every bit as important to me as everyone else's enjoyments are to them. I found that I put my interests aside too many times throughout my life in order to make sure that others were happy. I found myself denying that I enjoyed certain things simply because I didn't want anyone to mock me. And you know what, I missed out on so many simple pleasures because of this need to please others. I feel that at times I lost some of myself. But, thankfully, age allows for a little wisdom. I have come to realize over the years, especially the past 10 years with Mike, that I need not take myself nor life so seriously. I CAN take the time to play. Digging in the dirt, riding my 4-wheeler through ginormous mud bogs, rolling on the grass with my granddaughters, eating cookie dough, simply stopping along the highway to ponder a double rainbow, or a moose, or the mist rising from a pond -- these are things I need to make time for each day.

Laugh, my son! Play, love, and learn, but remember to stay balanced in all that you do. You will lose yourself if you don't maintain the proper balance.

I dug out some of my old poetry. I wrote this is 1992. I wish I had been more avid about living this concept, but I'm learning. I guess it's another one of those moments in my life where I want my children to learn from my mistakes, but recognizing that they need to make their own mistakes so that they may learn from them as well.

Anyway, here it is...

PLAY COUNTS!

Remember the child inside
who strives to come out

Don't forget --
recognize your innocence.

Adulthood should only be a
figment of Imagination.

Responsibilities labeled "Adult"
should only be addressed by

Children who have mastered
the art of Childhood!

Then, can one truly understand the
necessity of stress-free living.

"I Have Wandered. . .

. . . from a more exalted sphere."

I'm listening to the Sounds of Sunday on the BYU satellite radio station. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir came on singing my favorite hymn "O My Father" written by Sister Eliza R. Snow. So many times throughout my life, I've pondered the words of this song and felt such a strong yearning for Home.

I know that when I was younger, I was usually struck with the words of the second verse:

For a wise and glorious purpose
Thou hast placed me here on earth
And withheld the recollection
Of my former friends and birth;
Yet ofttimes a secret something
Whispered, “You’re a stranger here,”

I had such strong desires to push the veil aside to see what I'd forgotten. I remember at times I would sit on my bed in my room, close my eyes, and try with all of my might to push through to unblock my memories. I so look forward to the day that I “remember” all that I can’t remember now. My niece Jordan came to visit us a few years ago, right after my second granddaughter Mia was born. Jordan sat down with Mia who was just a couple of weeks old. Jordan looked up as she cradled Mia in her arms, and with tears sliding down her cheeks pondered aloud about Mia’s newness from our Father in Heaven and what she could tell us if she could talk. I remember feeling the same as I held my babies when they were tiny – what could they tell me about where they’d just come from. What did they still remember? My mother tells of my sister Michelle “talking to angels” when she was a baby. I don’t doubt that there’s still such a connection between the newly born and heaven.

Another aspect of the song that I’ve always loved is in the third verse as Sister Snow ponders our heavenly parentage and reasons that we must have a Heavenly Mother as well as our Father.

In the heav’ns are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal
Tells me I’ve a mother there.

I’ve pondered our Mother, as well, over the years. What is she like? How does she feel as she watches her children here upon the earth? I know how I feel as a mother when I watch my children choosing paths that I know will hurt them. I know the joy that I feel when I witness my children excelling and progressing in their lives. I know the wonder of tiny hands in mine as they excitedly tugged me toward their newest discoveries. I know the feel of those tiny hands growing into adulthood and still feeling the urge to grab my hand for a squeeze now and then. I know of the absolute, all-consuming love that I feel for my children, those of my body and those I have added to my heart through marriage, and I can’t help but have a glimpse into how our Mother must feel as well – mother to Mother.

I guess that as I've grown older, the final verse really strikes a chord as I ponder what my purpose is here on earth.

Then, at length, when I’ve completed
All you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation
Let me come and dwell with you.

What exactly has been my mission and what is the direction that He would have me go in this chapter of my life? Will my Father be proud of what I’ve done with my life – what I’ve tried to do? I long to be physically wrapped within his embrace, but I know that it’s not time yet. I can wait. I love this life and the experiences that unfold daily around me. I’m thrilled to view each new sunrise and sunset, and I marvel that I am a part of this creation. I can only imagine what the Celestial kingdom will be like if I have the model of this earth to compare it to. God’s creations on earth are magnificent, so our heavenly home must be truly glorious!